FAKE: Hundreds Amazed by New Sun Miracle in Wyoming

DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY IS FAKE.

On the one hundredth anniversary of the Miracle of the Sun at Fatima, Portugal on October 13th, 1917, a new miracle occurred at Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Port Omar, Wyoming. An estimated two hundred and fifty people gathered on the church grounds for the celebration of the local parish's feast day, as well as the 100th Anniversary of perhaps the most famous miracle of the twentieth century.

It was approximately 1:30 in the afternoon, right after Fr. Hardy had just finished announcing the winners of last weekend's Bingo tournament, when a voice was heard from the crowd: "The sun! Look at the sun!" Middle aged woman, Mrs. Wendy Bingham had seen a miracle. Bystanders reported Bingham was jumping up and down frantically, her eyes wide open in terror and amazement. Not but a few moments later, her friend next to her, Ms. Amelia Yuker, was reported to have said, "Oh! I see it too!" The shocked silence of the crowd turned to a low murmuring, which eventually grew as almost everyone in the field turned to look up at the sun.

Upon later interviewing Mrs. Bingham, she revealed that she had been staring at the sun for a full three minutes prior to witnessing the miracle. "I just new a miracle would happen on the hundredth anniversary. I just knew it." When asked what she saw, she said, "The sun got so so bright. Everything around it went dark. Then it spun around and everything changed colors. " Similar reports came from her friends. Reports vary on how many actually saw the miracle, and how many did not. At least one bystander did not see the miracle. This was Mrs. Bingham's husband, John Bingham. "I didn't see anything. I kept telling her not to stare directly at the sun. I figured she was just being a loon. A lot of other people stared at the sun and said they saw things or felt funny. It was just a normal afternoon for me."

Mrs. Bingham has outed her husband as a "liberal" and "probably an atheist," and, as such, his opinion may be unreliable. At least two or three parishioners have suffered what theologians call "Spirit blindness," similiar to the gift St. Paul received after being knocked off his donkey in the New Testament. Mrs. Bingham is currently sitting in her armchair at home, waiting for the scales to fall from her eyes. Every now and again, her husband wipes blood from her eyes. A small crowd now gathers in her living room every evening to pray the rosary and witness the miracle of the bloody tears. Mr. Bingham states that he thinks her "retinas" are perhaps burned or damaged but doesn't fight his wife's insistence not to go to the hospital because he "prefers her blind."

Our Lady has appeared at the spot to three children of the parish saying that non-believers like Mr. Bingham are "foolish and stubborn thorns in God's side who will burn in hell forever if they do not repent of their crimes." The Vatican is investigating this case -perhaps the largest public miracle since Fatima in 1917. At least half the crowd reported seeing the sun dance outside the small parish in Port Omar. One of the three children has also reportedly received a new "secret vision" which she was not to reveal until one week after receiving it. In the vision, Pope Benedict XVI travels to Buenos Aires and has a tropical vacation, after which Osama Bin Laden chops off his head. A representative from the Vatican has stated that they were already aware of this secret vision and that it has already been fulfilled by Benedict going into retirement. As well, he cut himself shaving yesterday morning, and this fulfills the prophecy of symbolic decapitation.

Also, the Cardinals did the hokey pokey on the Great Wall of China, thus fulfilling Our Lady's request for such an action so as to baptize all the Asians.